Several Miss Gorilla Manners signs explain observable gorilla behaviors. The format encourages readers to draw parallels between gorilla and human systems for educating youngsters and keeping communities smoothly functioning.
The Daily Planet
Proper Primate Etiquette
Miss Gorilla Manners
Dear Miss Gorilla Manners,
I'm a new mother, and I notice that my baby is always in my face when I'm eating. How can I teach her to be polite?
Nervous New Mother
Gentle Gorilla,Never mind that your daughter's behavior seems a bit rude. Miss Gorilla Manners assures you that an important lesson—what is safe to eat—is being learned. Your daughter is to be congratulated on diligently studying proper food selection by smelling your dining choices. Let her sniff.
Miss Gorilla Manners
The Daily Planet
Proper Primate Etiquette
Miss Gorilla MannersDear Miss Gorilla Manners,
My back is still pretty black, but I'm no kid and I can't get ladies off my mind. I want a girlfriend, but every time I try to get close to a girl she walks by my dad, and he has a fit and chases me around. Is there any way I can have a love life without Dad going berserk?
Growing Boy
Gentle Gorilla,Begin by selecting a newcomer to your group, not a well-established lady. Your father can hardly be expected to tolerate interference with his long-time companions.
Spoil the young lady with an excess of grooming; she is less likely to call on your father to discourage you.
If these strategies fail, you might choose to leave home. Mind you, you may end up spending considerable time alone or with a group of bachelors.
Perhaps you can eventually coax an eligible female away from her group to start a new family.
As your back becomes stronger and more silver, you may wish to try to take over another male's group. If you succeed in intimidating him, Miss Gorilla Manners will be among your most ardent admirers.
Miss Gorilla Manners
